“The Secret” to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose (How to Turn Your Thoughts in Things that Actually Matter)

“The Secret” to Discovering Your Life’s Purpose (How to Turn Your Thoughts in Things that Actually Matter)


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I’ve been a fan of the metaphysical, success-oriented film The Secret ever since I saw it for the first time in February of 2014. In fact, because of author Mike Dooley speaking what I call “the three magic words” in it—“thoughts become things”—I specifically credit this wonderful documentary-of-sorts with the biggest “Aha moment” of my life.

That “Aha moment”—the epiphany to end all epiphanies for me—was the moment when I realized, after having struggled for years to find success (despite having read countless self-help and personal development books like Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins and Living an Extraordinary Life by Robert White, which didn’t help me as much as I’d thought they would have), that the reason I hadn’t found success had little to do with me not being enough of a go-getter and everything to do with the fact that I’d honestly never decided exactly what it was I wanted in my life.

Like most people, I had a firm grip on what I didn’t want—things like “my shitty, 9-to-5 style day job”, my “piddly, little bank account”, and “my problem with my relationships with women never working out right.” But one glaring thing I didn’t have a grip on was what I wanted instead of those things. And as I would come to learn from watching The Secret, that was my problem.

To put it in a nutshell, I had no clue what I wanted and, to be honest, I hadn’t put much, if any, thought into figuring it out, either—which brings me to my next point, and the point I’d like to get across to you today—a point which, not coincidentally, popped into my head upon me seeing the following tweet on The Secret’s official Twitter account:

So what is my point, you may ask? It’s this:


We have to decide that for ourselves.

Before I go any further, I’d also like to point out that while I’m on the fence about whether fate or destiny truly exists, and about how much, if any, of the minor and major events in our lives come about according to some kind of spiritual scripts or soul contracts/agreements we “sign” prior to us incarnating into our Earthly bodies (versus coming about as a direct result of our free will and/or the personal choices we make), one thing I am not and never have been on the fence about is the fact that no one—not our mothers, not our brothers, not our sisters, or our friends (and most definitely not some automated Twitter feed)—can tell us what our life’s purposes or life’s missions are. To put it another way, no one is going to walk up to us with a silver platter, lift a lid, and reveal to us what we were born to do. To figure that out, all we need to do is decide what we want.

Now, notice that I, again, mentioned what we want to do, and not what we don’t want to do. But I digress; back to my main point:

The most glaring problem with the above tweet from The Secret is the fact that it is literally telling us that we all have the same life purpose, which is apparently “to overcome negativity by choosing love”, and this couldn’t be any further from the truth, for the simply fact that, first of all, it is not negativity that is the opposite of love, but positivity, which necessitates that it is positivity, rather than love, specifically, which overcomes negativity. Secondly, when it comes to our life purposes/missions, we are like snowflakes, in that none of what any of us are here to do is exactly the same. Because how could it be? After all, we are literally not the same people.

Each of us was born under a different set of circumstances, to a different set of parents, and in a different environment. Therefore, it is both literally and figuratively impossible for us to all have the same life purpose. I mean, think about it: Assuming that everything does, in fact, “happen for a reason” (which I’m sure it does, although the reason is often not obvious until long after an event occurs and in hindsight), and assuming we aren’t here by accident (which I’m sure we’re not), then what would be the point of us being born into specific circumstances, families, or environments, if were all destined, ultimately, to accomplish exactly the same, vague thing, which is to “overcome negativity with love”?

Clearly, there wouldn’t be a point in such a situation. Accordingly, I don’t buy any of these “woo woo” ideas that we’re all here to do something as nondescript and uninspiring as “make the world a better place”, “help others”, or “spread love and light everywhere we go”, because, really, what the hell does any of that even really mean?

None of those things mean anything to me, nor should they mean much, if anything, to you, because how they can mean something if we can’t even put a finger on what that something is?


To put this in perspective, let’s say I wanted to personally “overcome negativity with love”, and that I’ve decided to make that the overarching and underlying theme of my entire life—my life’s purpose, if you will. How would I go about achieving this? More so than that, how would I know when/if I’ve ever actually achieved this, assuming it’s achievable to begin with?

Simply put, I couldn’t, because love is a choice, not a material thing that exists independent of us, like a rock or a tree, which is why setting “overcoming negativity with love” is such a shitty, pointless goal, let alone one of the most ridiculous things anyone could ever tell you to do. You and I, and everyone else in this world, would be far better off focusing on the achievement of what have been referred to as “S.M.A.R.T.” goals, that is, goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-Sensitive.

Now, this is not to say that I want you to “be realistic” with regards to what you want or to write certain goals off simply because you don’t feel that they are, in fact, realistic, because man once believed that running a 4-minute mile, flying through the air like a bird, and landing on the moon were unrealistic, and look what happened there, but it is to say that you should firmly root your desires in reality—that is, the real, physical 3D world we actually live in, and not in some “4D”, “5D”, or multi-dimensional fantasy land that has only been theorized to exist. In a word, even the most unrealistic and objectively unreasonable of your goals should be based on the idea that you are going to bring them to fruition on this physical earth, and not simply somewhere inside your own skull.

Once you’ve set your physical goal, as realistic or unrealistic as it may be, that’s your life’s purpose, at least for now (or at least until you change your mind, or choose something else to be your life’s purpose). It’s not what I tell you it could be, what The Secret tells you it is, or what anyone tells you it should be; it’s what you, and you alone, decide you want it to be, and if anyone every tells you different, they’re either lying to you or completely ignorant of the way our world and our Universe works, in which case you probably shouldn’t be following them on Twitter, much less taking advice from them.

Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to be here today! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it!

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Author: Cory Groshek

Cory Groshek is the founder and CEO of Greener Bay Compost, Green Bay, Wisconsin's only Curbside Compost Pickup Service, which he founded in July 2021. He is also an author/blogger, battery metals investor, & founder of personal growth and development brand ManifestationMachine.com. He has also written a middle-grade children's book, 'Breaking Away: Book One of the Rabylon Series', which was published in December 2016.

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