You Can’t Say You’ve Made It If You Haven’t Been Hated (The Truth About Haters and Trolls)
I REMEMBER MY FIRST HATERS LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY
It was the spring of 2012. I was 29 years old and had just dropped from my all-time high weight of 197 lbs. (at 5’10”) to 156 lbs. (nine lbs. below my weight as a high school junior) before settling in at a very healthy 162-165 lbs.—a feat I’d accomplished in public on my first YouTube channel, which I’d created really as nothing more than a video weight loss diary for myself, and which you can witness for yourself in the video below (the most popular body transformation video I’ve ever created):
I was easily in the best shape of my life (with the six-pack abs to show for it) back then, but I was also very naïve, and I honestly expected that almost everyone on the Internet would be happy for me. Oh boy, was I ever wrong, and in for the mother of all rude awakenings.
While thousands of people from all around the world did congratulate me, were admittedly inspired by what I’d accomplished, and wanted to know how I “did it”, there existed a subset of people (if they could even be called that) that used the comment sections of my videos as their personal soapbox for telling the world how they really felt about me and my weight loss success.
These “people” called me fat, skinny-fat (an apparent term for people who appear “skinny” with their clothes on while having a very high body fat percentage and no muscular definition), and even ugly. They made fun of everything from my thick eyebrows to the shape of my nose (which had been broken while playing soccer at age 14) and even the heart-shaped tattoo on my left bicep (a permanent reminder I’d gotten for myself after my failed first marriage to remind myself to never get involved in a toxic relationship again). It was like I was in high school again, only worse, because not even in high school had I witnessed such immaturity, such callousness, and such cruelty.
I was mockingly asked “Do you even lift?” (as in, “do you even lift weights?”) on countless occasions, despite the fact that I obviously did (because it is really quite easily to tell people who lift weights from so-called “skinny” people who don’t), attacked for my views on elimination diets, intermittent fasting, and the “low carb” lifestyle I’d been enjoying, all of which played a major role in my weight loss success, and told repeatedly that I had no business running a fitness channel on YouTube, apparently because I didn’t look like a “roided-out” bodybuilder or Olympic athlete.
This was my introduction to Internet trolls and haters—people who actually hate themselves so much for how mediocre and unsuccessful they are that they actually have to project their hate onto other people to keep from killing themselves. Their daily activities typically consist of working jobs they hate, taking their anger out on others (including their children), drinking way too much and doing drugs, and spending an unhealthy and unnatural amount of time on the Internet, where they can’t go a single day without leaving a hateful, bitter, or spiteful comment on a blog, article, and/or video created by someone far more successful than them and who they are secretly jealous of. Sometimes they even take things a step further and create YouTube channels, or blogs, like mine, solely for the sake of spreading their hate as far and wide as humanly possible, with the hopes of attracting like-minded, failure-oriented people into their lives as some sort of sad, sickly support group.
In light of this development, I had two choices: I could shrivel up into a fetal position in some “safe space” and delete my YouTube channel, or I could “grow a pair” (and some thicker skin to boot) and just deal with it.
Needless to say (because I am still here), I chose the latter. And believe me, as someone who has suffered from cystic acne (which I ultimately treated with the very dangerous drug Accutane) and body dysmorphia as a teenager and young adult, this was not easy for me to do. But the way I saw it, I was either going to “suck it up” and move on (unlike the special snowflakes amongst us who are still, to this day, crying over Donald Trump becoming the 45th President of the United States), with the understanding that, going forward, the trolling would never really stop and would, undoubtedly, get worse as I’d become more successful, or I could let the terrorists win. And as I’m sure you can probably guess by now, I don’t negotiate with (or give in to) terrorists.
Completely undeterred by the hate being directed at me by a small army of brain-dead meatheads with delusions of grandeur, I soldiered on and grew my Low Carb Cory brand of intermittent fasting, body detoxification, and weight loss advice into arguably the greatest source of information on natural weight loss on the entire Internet, with my Respect the Vessel channel now boasting nearly 17,000 subscribers and nearly 3 million video views (not too shabby, if you ask me, for a guy operating in an extremely niche area of the health and fitness industry).
Unfortunately, despite all of my success as Low Carb Cory, “all good things must come to an end”, as they say, and I eventually outgrew my YouTube channel and found myself wanting do other things; to put my God-given talents to use in other, more lucrative areas. Slowly, but surely, I began to cut down on the number of videos I posted to my channel, and slowly, but surely, the emails and the messages started to pour in and the rumors started to swirl:
“Cory, are you dead?”
“Cory, are you still alive?”
“Low Carb Cory is dead! Yayyyyy!”
“He finally did it! He finally killed himself!”
And while I’m sure the haters would love to take all the credit for me no longer wanting to make YouTube videos (or for me apparently taking my own life), the truth is that I hung up my proverbial boots as Low Carb Cory because I just wasn’t into doing videos about intermittent fasting anymore. After having uploaded between 180 and 200 videos (160 of which are still online) to my channel over the course of a couple years, 129 of which make up my world-famous All About Fasting playlist (which has helped millions of people all around the world lose weight and keep it off, when nothing else has worked for them), I was at the point where I was “beating a dead horse with a stick” with the whole “intermittent fasting thing” and, I’ll be honest, I was getting very tired of being asked the same weight-loss-related questions every day by people who couldn’t be bothered to take one look at the very nice, well-organized All About Fasting playlist I’d created for them (which would have answered 99% of their questions). Simply put, I was ready to “cash out”, for lack of a better term, and put my skill set to better use elsewhere (and in what would hopefully be a much more lucrative way, seeing as my two years of responding to e-mailed questions for free hadn’t been paying my bills).
With that, I publicly announced my “retirement” from YouTube, leaving the door open just a hair to the possibility that I could, at some point in the future, make a return, assuming that doing so would be in not only my best interests but that of the world as well. And then a funny thing happened: The very same haters and trolls who’d been begging me to go away (to delete my YouTube channel and never come back) got mad—very mad; madder than I’d ever seen them. And that’s when I discovered something about haters that everyone needs to understand:
HATERS ACTUALLY LOVE YOU (THEY JUST DON’T KNOW IT YET)
Apparently my haters, who’d tried to false-fat-shame me to death for years and made it sound as though they’d have gladly sacrificed their first-born child to see me disappear from the face of the Earth, were openly admitting that they were going to miss me. These same “people” who wanted me to “go away” were now calling me a quitter, a loser, and a “sellout” for “giving up” on my channel and my “fans”, a group that had apparently included them all along (although they’d never have admitted it, and had quite a funny way of showing it).
The irony was palpable (and, I must say, quite laughable, at the same time). To think, these haters of mine weren’t such cold-hearted sociopaths after all, but rather much like that little girl or little boy we all attended elementary school with and who made fun of us because they really had a crush on us, but either didn’t know how to show it or was too embarrassed to admit it. Awwwwwwwwww, I thought to myself, my haters love me! They really love me! And after a little research into how that could possibly be, I stumbled upon a fact of life that not too many people are aware of:
Hate is not the opposite of love; indifference (or, excuse my French, not giving a shit in any way, shape, or form about someone or something) is. So while these haters may have been many things, including obnoxious, belligerent, and entirely ignorant (if not outright stupid), one thing they could definitely not claim to be toward me was indifferent.
It’s already been proven scientifically, through study of the human brain, that the part of us that makes us feel hate for someone or something is but millimeters from the part that makes us feel love for them. As such, I was able to surmise, based on the Greek tragedy that I was seeing play out before me in my YouTube video comments sections, that every single one of these “people” who claimed to hate me so very much were really only a millimeter away from loving me. And could it be? I thought, that the act of my threatening to leave them for good had finally snapped them out of their apathy and gotten them to admit what psychologists probably would have known all along? That beneath their “tough guy” facades and their braggadocios online behavior, they were really just big softies who can’t live without me?
Oh, how I relished that thought.
Look, I know it’s been said that revenge is a dish best served cold, but after having experienced what I’d just experienced, I was starting to think that it would go pretty well with a big, hot, steaming pile of the aforementioned irony. And so I gave the haters what they’d claimed for years that they’d wanted, but which, in reality, they hadn’t really wanted at all, and I quit YouTube.
For the next couple years, I received emails and Facebook messages constantly, essentially begging and pleading for me to return to YouTube. People said they missed me, wanted the “old Low Carb Cory” back, missed my intermittent fasting advice and my unique take on health and fitness…essentially, they wanted their next hit of the drug they’d just realized they could only get from me, and they were in withdrawal. As for the haters? Well, no one was in more painful withdrawal than them, because without me creating video content for them to comment on, and without me saying the type of things that would normally “trigger” their special little snowflake sensibilities, they had no outlet for their self-loathing and no one worthy of projecting their self-hate upon, and so it wasn’t long before the “weeping and gnashing of teeth” began and they found themselves in a deep, dark Hell of their own creation, stewing in their own sad, sickly juices and hoping/praying for the day when I would return to YouTube and once again give meaning to their otherwise meaningless lives.
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Fortunately for the haters (and unfortunately for them at the same time), I did eventually make my return to YouTube in the last week or so—but not in the way they’d expected. Rather than show up broken, depressed, and begging forgiveness of them for me having abandoned them years earlier, I revealed myself to be much healthier, happier, wealthier, and more successful than I’ve ever been, with my brand new website, ManifestationMachine.com, having officially launched and my brand new children’s book, ‘Breaking Away: Book One of the Rabylon Series’, having just been released. And boy, oh boy, did that ever rub them the wrong way, because…
SUCCESS BREEDS CONTEMPT (AND HATE, AND TROLLING, ETC.)
Simply put, if you’re successful, people are going to hate you. It’s inevitable, like snow in winter and sweat in summer, or going “splat” when you jump off of a tall building with no parachute (which, not surprisingly, is probably what a lot of my haters are considering doing right about now). So really, being hated is not a sign, as the haters would surely have you believe, that you “suck at life”, are a failure, or should “kill yourself” (as I’ve been told to do on multiple occasions), but rather that you are, in fact, successful on some level, because if you weren’t, do you really think that anyone would know or care about who you are, let alone dedicate a large portion of their time, energy, or resources to talking about you or trolling you on the Internet?
Case in point: I am currently (as I write this) being cyber-stalked very aggressively by one particular hater of mine, a man named Chase Smith (who has both a Facebook page and a YouTube channel of his own, by the way), who has hated me since I uploaded my first body transformation video and well before I became any of the things I’ve become over the course of the last three years: An author/blogger, investor, consumer rights advocate, metaphysician, and founder/CEO of Manifestation Machine. This is a man who if he can’t find a reason to hate me will happily make one up and, not surprisingly, this is exactly what he began to do, as soon as he discovered that I am, as the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel and USA Today have recently put it, a “professional plaintiff” and a newly-minted children’s book author.
Don’t believe me? You don’t have to, as you’re welcome to see and hear for yourself, via the embedded videos below, pulled from Mr. Smith’s JumpRopeLift YouTube channel, just exactly how obsessed with me this sad, sickly individual really is:
What you see in the videos above is textbook hater behavior from an individual who is clearly more concerned with my success (or what he publicly claims to perceive as a lack thereof) than with the achievement of his own. While I am writing blogs like this, promoting my children’s book (‘Breaking Away: Book One of the Rabylon Series’, now available on Kindle and in paperback), working on several new books, and enjoying the fact that I, at age 33, am happily married, living in a paid-off house, and earning a living doing what I love, this man (who fancies himself better than me, more successful than me, and more moral than me, mind you) is spending what little free time he has during his employer-approved lunch breaks at his 9-to-5 style day job and his commute home from work shooting videos about me in his car.
[UPDATE: Several months after this post was written, the above-referenced and embedded videos were removed from YouTube as they were deemed to be in violation of YouTube’s Community Guidelines, which I find to be both hilarious and exceedingly ironic, especially considering the fact that this particular troll played a large part in my original YouTube channel being deleted in its entirety over far less serious “violations”. If this isn’t karma/the Law of Cause and Effect in action, then I don’t know what is!]
Now, does this seem like something that someone who can’t stand me—someone who would like people to believe he is indifferent towards me—would do? Or does it seem more like the type of stalkerish behavior that only someone with a very unhealthy and unrequited love of me would engage in? I think you know the answer to that, and I believe that videos such as Mr. Smith’s speak for themselves. Not only that, but due in large part to Mr. Smith’s apparent failure to realize that “once it’s on the Internet, it’s forever”, his videos may speak in perpetuity, as I have taken it upon myself to download all of them in beautiful HD format and may very well use them, at some point in the future, for educational purposes (much like I am doing right now).
Speaking of educational purposes, I’d like to use this moment as an opportunity to teach you something that “they” don’t teach in school with regards to achieving success (and which is highly relevant to Mr. Smith and his obsession with me):
IT IS BETTER TO BE HATED THAN IGNORED
For someone like me—or really any success-oriented person who, like me, dreams of creating what I call “a life worth dying for” for themselves and their loved ones –indifference (that is, the indifference of other people, or their ignorance of you) is death: Death to your hopes, death to your dreams, and death to the possibility that you could ever break out of the so-called “rat race”, quit your day job, and get to experience the kind of freedom that can only come with living your life on your own terms. The minute people forget about you—the moment they stop caring about you—you cease to exist. So the goal with any success-oriented endeavor should not be to eliminate the hate that others harbor for us, but to revel in it as though it were the “nectar of the gods”, for in many ways it is: A sweet, sweet nectar which, not surprisingly, tastes a lot like victory and is reserved for the less than 1% of us on this planet that will actually do something worth hating before we die.
Allow me to be blunt: There are around nine billion people on our planet right now, and 99.9% of them are going to die without ever having left an indelible mark on society or a lasting impression on the world at large. They will never write a bestselling book, produce a hit movie film or television series, or create a billion dollar global brand or company. Why? Because they, like Mr. Smith, are cowards: Afraid to dream big. Afraid to fail. Afraid to be hated. And so rather than make their decisions out on faith (or based on what they do want), they make them out of fear (or based on what they don’t want) which, in turn, causes them to manifest more of what they don’t want—which, in Mr. Smith’s case, is apparently me. And that brings me to my next big point:
HATERS ARE PHYSICALLY (AND METAPHYSICALLY) ATTRACTED TO US
As per the Law of Attraction, which states that “like attracts like”, or that we attract to ourselves that which is in vibrational alignment with us (for more information on this, please check out William Walker Atkinson’s amazing book, ‘Thought Vibration, or the Law of Attraction in the Thought World’ and ‘The Kybalion’ by the Three Initiates), the people, places, things, and circumstances we find ourselves surrounded by are not in our lives by way of “dumb luck”, “random chance”, or “accident”, but rather by way of the fact that, vibrationally speaking, they are a match for us (for who, what, and where we are in our lives). If they weren’t, they would be repulsed by (or drive away from) us, as people who are indifferent to us are, as opposed to attracted to us, as Mr. Smith is to me.
Yes, you head me right: Mr. Smith, Mr. JumpRopeLift, Mr. I Have Nothing Better to Do Than Record Videos About Low Carb Cory Whose Guts I Claim to Fucking Hate is attracted to me, not necessarily in a sexual way (although I certainly wouldn’t put it past him at this point), but in a metaphysical way/in accordance with his most deeply-rooted beliefs. What this means, in layman’s terms, is that he can’t stay away from me. Mr. Smith, contrary to all of the pontificating and preaching he does on his YouTube channel about how I am such a “bad” person and how he very much despises me and everything I stand for, likes me, and he likes me a lot—or at least the vibrations, or “vibes”, I give off. Again, if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be here, stalking me on YouTube, Facebook, and Amazon.com, and leaving fake 1-star reviews like the following on my children’s book:
So know this: When someone claims to dislike you, yet spends an inordinate amount of their time and energy on you, it is a clear sign that that person, far from hating you, is actually enamored (and essentially in love) with you on a deep, vibrational level that they may never understand. All they will know is that they can’t stop thinking about you and can’t stay away from you, and they will continue to be drawn to you (for some “mysterious” reason) until the end of their days or they fall out of vibrational alignment with you (whichever comes first).
If I could give one big piece of advice to people like this—like Mr. Smith—it would be the drop the act, stop pretending they hate people they actually like, and make friends with people they are in vibrational alignment with, rather than trying to make enemies of them just to impress their friends or keep up their fake “tough guy” facade.
HATERS ARE REALLY CONGRATULATORS (IN DISGUISE)
Haters aren’t our enemies; they’re our friends, whether they’d like to admit it or not. And in many ways, they’re our greatest champions, because while they are “hating on us” and going on and on about us to their friends and their family and anonymous people all over the Internet, what they are really doing is congratulating us on a job well done—even if that job consists solely of pissing them off to such an extent that they felt compelled to drop everything and make us the center of their Universe, if only for the few seconds it takes to write a nasty comment online about us.
And let’s be honest here: When people are shooting YouTube videos about you on their lunch breaks, for example, whereas they could be using their valuable time to do any number of “more important” things such as, say, calling their wife or kids, reading a book to enrich themselves, or brainstorming ways strategies to become more successful themselves, they are broadcasting, loud and clear, for the entire world to hear, that YOU MATTER.
In focusing on you and giving their attention to you (as opposed to anything else at all), haters are providing you with a type of legitimacy that could only come from the most emotionally-engaged of those who are aware of you. By their very existence or presence in our lives, haters establish that you are doing something RIGHT—something worth caring about; something worth hating—even if they happen to think that there is something WRONG with that.
In conclusion, it’s like Mahatma Gandhi once famously said: First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. So next time you find yourself surrounded by haters, just remember that, in accordance with the Law of Attraction, they’re not here to hurt you; they’re here to help you (in some “weird, roundabout way” that they’ll never understand), and that just like the darkest part of night comes just before the dawn, the greatest amount of hate comes just before you win.
Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to be here today! I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this post as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Please leave a comment below and tell me how you feel about this post, or better yet, visit its sister thread in the Manifestation Machine Forum and join the discussion about the topics covered herein. I can’t wait to hear from you, and neither can the millions upon millions of your fellow Mechanics!